Tag: habits

Top 20 Behaviours to change and Thrive

Here are 20 common behaviours people often want to change because they limit wellbeing, confidence, relationships, achievement, and quality of life.

No.	Behaviour people want to change	What it often costs them	Thriving alternative
1	Procrastinating	Stress, guilt, lost opportunities	Taking small, timely action
2	Overthinking	Mental exhaustion, indecision	Clear thinking and trusted decisions
3	People-pleasing	Resentment, burnout, loss of self	Honest, respectful boundaries
4	Avoiding difficult conversations	Tension, misunderstanding, unresolved problems	Courageous communication
5	Saying yes when they mean no	Overload, self-neglect	Choosing with intention
6	Self-sabotaging	Stopping just before progress happens	Supporting their own success
7	Seeking constant approval	Low self-trust, anxiety	Internal validation and self-respect
8	Comparing themselves to others	Inadequacy, envy, discouragement	Measuring progress by personal values
9	Ignoring their own needs	Depletion, resentment, emotional crash	Healthy self-care and self-responsibility
10	Reacting emotionally under pressure	Conflict, regret, damaged trust	Pausing, regulating, responding
11	Avoiding rest	Fatigue, burnout, poor recovery	Treating rest as productive
12	Trying to control everything	Anxiety, rigidity, tension	Focusing on influence and choice
13	Putting themselves last	Loss of identity, low energy	Becoming self-full, not selfish
14	Avoiding change	Feeling stuck, bored, trapped	Taking safe, steady growth steps
15	Escaping through distractions	Numbness, wasted time, avoidance	Conscious recovery and meaningful action
16	Negative self-talk	Low confidence, shame, fear	Encouraging inner dialogue
17	Perfectionism	Delay, pressure, never feeling good enough	Progress, learning, and enoughness
18	Withdrawing when struggling	Isolation, loneliness, lack of support	Reaching out and staying connected
19	Blaming themselves too harshly	Shame, helplessness, stuckness	Reflection without self-attack
20	Living on autopilot	Disconnection from values, purpose, joy	Conscious living by choice

A Useful Way to Group Them

Most behaviour change falls into four broad areas:

1. Self-protection behaviours

These once helped the person cope, but now keep them stuck.

Examples: avoiding conflict, withdrawing, controlling everything, procrastinating, people-pleasing.

2. Self-pressure behaviours

These come from trying to prove worth, avoid failure, or stay safe.

Examples: perfectionism, overworking, comparing, approval-seeking, harsh self-talk.

3. Self-neglect behaviours

These happen when a person’s needs, energy, health, and values drop down the priority list.

Examples: saying yes too often, avoiding rest, ignoring needs, putting themselves last.

4. Autopilot behaviours

These happen when life becomes reactive rather than intentional.

Examples: scrolling, distracting, repeating old patterns, reacting emotionally, drifting from goals.

In coaching language

A simple way to describe it would be:

People do not usually need to become someone different.
They need to interrupt the behaviours that keep them surviving, and practise the behaviours that help them thrive.

The deeper pattern

Most unwanted behaviours are not random. They are often attempts to meet a need, such as:

• safety
• approval
• control
• belonging
• certainty
• rest
• recognition
• self-worth
• freedom
• purpose

So the coaching question becomes:

“What is this behaviour trying to do for you, and is there a healthier way to meet that need now?”